Continued.. Why does it feel like Jesus can't save me, is he telling you to send me a message?

.. and I said these words and I seen the colors in front of my eyes mix evil collors with good ones.. Too explain the feeling i felt like the colors were coming out my pupil softy like a shade over life and I knew so mucjh like I tastyed the frut of knowldege and evil!!! my dad was next to me with a sandwich and I was disgusted lookiing at the ham and thinkin if I ated I will knnow more of the disgusting feeling and I would feel the mayonaisse stuck in my throaT... People around me didnt even seem like my ppl i wasnt united with them anymore.. they all liook like humans like pieces of live meat.. then a person came back. i knew he was bad cus before all that i had the gifty from god to see who was a fake preacher and who ever cursed me would be cursed .. but this time his words penetrad my soul sending my spirit down to a place where I was afraid . hes eyes were big and red and they were like my soul i was like stupid hypnotized *** i was iin a trance wwith his eyes... i felt so strange I dont kno